What comes in, must come out

I came to an interesting (in an obvious sort of way) realization today while watching Ethan play. Jon had laid down on the couch and Ethan's first thought was that he was pretending to be the lame man from this week's Bible story and wanted to re-enact the story. I've been noticing him doing that a lot recently, and I think it's a combination of two things.

The first, is that he's obviously getting older and developing a better memory. But the second is that we've been doing devotions with him every bedtime. I've been writing 5-day devotionals for each week, based on the Sunday's lesson. I decided to write my own because I was having a hard time finding good material that wasn't moralistic or trite, and I just couldn't recommend anything I'd found for our families, at least not with gusto. The great thing about having a preschooler at home is that I feel like I can finally write stuff that I'm sure is at the level of an average preschooler! Jon and I have been alternating doing them with him, and it's really giving him the chance to get into the story, learning about some of the deeper nuances than we'd get into on a Sunday morning with 10 other kids.

And it made me realize - what comes in, must come out. I've seen Ethan re-enact episodes of some of his favorite shows too, which is fine. But I'm so glad that what's going into his little mind is not just TV, and not just our words (or mine), but His.

As for me and my house...

I will get on my soapbox now, and hopefully not get pelted with virtual tomatoes. If you can sift through my initial tirade, you might find some useful ideas at the bottom. :)

I don't like Santa Claus. That's why we don't teach Ethan about him or take him to have his photo taken with Santa in the mall. In fact, we drove past a giant inflatable Santa the other day and he called it Noah! I didn't feel the need to correct him at this point in his life, because I'm intentionally trying to NOT expose him to the story of Santa, at least not yet. Three-year-olds tend to believe everything you say, so I want to only present the truth to him at this point.

I really think the Christian community needs to re-think our passion for Santa, and here's my reasons.

1) Santa is all about giving to those who are good. It's an extrinsic motivator for kids to be good - act in the right ways and you'll get presents from the Eye In the Sky this year. That is so opposite who God really is. Sure, he sees you when you're sleeping and he knows when you're awake, but you don't have to worry about not pouting and not crying, because God is merciful and gracious. He doesn't give you coal in your stocking when you're bad, he gives you a Savior.

2) Getting presents from some dude at the North Pole who only makes contact once a year doesn't encourage thankfulness. In fact, what it encourages is consumerism and greed (which Colossians calls idolatry). Kids write these giant lists of things they want and when they get some or all of the items on their list from "Santa", they have no one to thank. On the other hand, when they receive gifts from people they know, they are required to give thanks. I would much rather have my child have the gift of a grateful heart than a few years of the supposed "magic" of Santa Claus.

3) And this whole thing with the Elf on the Shelf who "reports back to Santa" every night? Maybe I'm missing the point but it appears to me like a more extravagant way to deceive our children. And it's all in the name of fun, right? Honestly, my idea of fun with my kids doesn't involve lying to them. Pretending, yes. But only when we all know that we're pretending. So maybe when my kids are old enough to know the difference, we will have more fun with the Santa story. But right now when they don't really understand the difference between real and pretend, it's not worth it. I read something a long time ago that really stuck with me. No matter how much you ham up the Santa story and get them all excited about it every year, eventually they will learn the truth. They WILL learn that their parents deceived them. And at the age when they start questioning the existence of Santa, they are prone to start questioning the other things their parents taught them too. Such things as the "real" meaning of Christmas - why would they believe you about Jesus when they learned that they can't believe you about Santa?

But if you remove Santa and his endless bag of gifts from the Christmas scene, what do you do instead? First of all, it's important to remember that people loved Christmastime long before there was Santa Claus.  Santa Claus, while initially based on St. Nicholas, is really an invention of Coca-Cola that the makers of movies, books, and TV shows went gaga over.

I have to admit that for many years, even up until last year, I didn't think Christmas was all that great. Once I got over the gift-opening excitement that occurred as a child, I just stopped caring about Christmas. I always felt a hole in my spirit at Christmas, and actually tried to start up some Christ-centered traditions in my family to try to fill that hole. I remember making an advent wreath one year and reading the Christmas story on Christmas Day on another. Not that my parents did anything wrong at Christmas, I just always felt like there was something missing. Yes, we talked about it being about Christmas, but I felt like all the Christians I knew were just paying the Nativity story lip service. (NOTE: they might not have been, that's just how I feel about it!)

This year, for the first time, I feel like that withering of my spirit around Christmastime has been halted. In fact, I feel like my spirit is learning to rejoice in Christmas. I think it's because for the first time, we're really DOING advent. Ethan is excited about all the little traditions we're starting, and I'm finally starting to feel like Christmas really is amazing, exciting, and transformative. So here's what we're doing this year, and I hope to be able to do more next year. (I'm hoping to add in some ideas based on St. Nicholas' life)

1) My co-worker wrote a beautiful Advent devotional and we've been using that along with a homemade advent wreath and candles on Sundays.

2) We've been doing the daily Jesse Tree devotional from Ann Voskamp's blog. Ethan loves the pictures and the Bible stories that I paraphrase, and I love reading her daily devotionals to go along with it. I see us doing this every year, and actually getting more out of it every year.

3) Ethan has a felt advent calendar that has little characters from the Christmas story in each pocket. No chocolate required, at least not this year! He just loves seeing who's next. We also made him a paper chain to rip off one link every night before bed. Believe it or not, he actually sleeps with the paper links!

4) I've been writing a devotional specifically for 2-5 year olds and we've been working through the Christmas material with Ethan this month. I have to say there's something incredible special about seeing my husband and son re-enact the Christmas story using stuffed animals. (I wish I had videotaped it!) Or trekking up and down the stairs with Ethan only to be told when we get to his room that there's no room and we'll have to sleep in the bathroom. I think we're at an advantage this year because he doesn't remember Christmas from last year, so this is all brand new to him. It's so beautiful to see him so engaged in the story that it comes out in his playtime. This morning he wanted to knock at the doors of all the inns again! I'm looking forward to the end of the week when we'll create a makeshift manger to put in his room, and wrap a baby doll to sleep in there until Christmas.

5) We do still give gifts, but I think I'm even almost at the point of not giving gifts at Christmas Day anymore. I love what Ann Voskamp does with her family - for the last 2 weeks leading up to Christmas, their family spends time each morning choosing a gift from the various catalogues - Compassion, World Vision, Samaritan's Purse, Gospel for Asia. My dad has been wanting our extended family to do this for a few years, and I think I might actually almost be ready. Although I did read something cool on facebook the other day - someone mentioned that their kids each get 3 gifts because that's how many Jesus got. I thought that was a neat way to bring perspective to the gift-giving. Because I LOVE to buy gifts for my kids, so I definitely need perspective.

But here's the question that's probably burning on the minds of some people reading this: Is my kid going to be the one telling all the kids that "Santa isn't real!"? Likely not. I think it's more likely that he'd be rather oblivious to those conversations when he's young, not really realizing that some kids actually believe he's a real guy. I never grew up believing Santa was a real guy but I also never told anyone else he wasn't real. It was basically a non-issue for me. I think those conversations are much more likely to happen with the child whose parents told him Santa was real, and when he finds out the truth, is determined to tell every other child around what he's just learned. Think about it - we read Curious George and Frosty the Snowman books, and never once has Ethan said "those guys are not real." They're just in a storybook so he doesn't actually expect Curious George to waltz into our home. So I feel like if we keep Santa to the storybooks, it probably won't be an issue. Because in all fairness, the Christmas Eve part of the Santa story is pretty fun, and I don't expect to be able to (or even to want to) fully isolate our children from that part of culture.

I just want to keep Christmas about Jesus, really and for real and for always. We all say that's what Christmas is really about, but we don't live it. I want to try to live it. A girl can try, right?

And now off my soapbox. Please don't hate me. :)

best kid ever

I love Ethan. I didn't think I could love him more, but as he grows and I see his little mind taking in so much, I just love him more and more!

Here's a picture of him traveling into space. in the backpack are all the supplies he needed, including a book about animals. I guess you never know what you'll encounter in space!

We were at the in-laws on the weekend, and suddenly we heard this little voice saying "guess what I did!" With a little trepidation, we went out back to check it out, and discovered that he had made his own clothesline by tucking the ends of a giant rubber tube into two separate doors. Yup, that's my kid. Doing laundry at 3 1/2!

We were having a discussion about bees the other day, and I asked him what bees make, (expecting the typical preschool answer, 'honey') and he says "strawberries!" I was a bit taken aback before I realized that he had taken my lessons on pollination to heart and was reminding me that bees help strawberry flowers turn into berries. So he's probably the only 3 year old in his class that can tell you about pollination! Love this guy.

munchies

This kid is so weird! In the past week he's chowed down on a stick of rhubarb without batting an eye, and eaten nearly a whole tub of chives. But he won't eat cooked beans or greens. Yeah.

Boys

I love how I'm starting to see the differences in the personalities of my boys. Right from the start we could see that Ethan was a very laid-back child - he would sit and play on the floor of my office for ages, happily content with a little ball and some rattles. Oliver, on the other hand, is a go-getter. Nothing stops this kid! Today I watched him attempt to climb a chair - he spent several minutes trying until he finally got up. When he did, he grinned and bobbed around a bit, then hopped down and moved on with his life. Mountain conquered! 

It's also interesting to see their different takes on dirt. Oliver LOVES to play in the dirt and sand - as you can see from the picture, he spends all our playground time playing with the sand toys and the sand itself. He likes to eat it a bit, but his favorite thing is putting sand into the buckets and dumping it back out. Conversely, Ethan is all about making up games, and he spends about 30 seconds digging in the sand. He helped me with some gardening a while back, and 5 seconds after getting his hand in the dirt, he had to rush inside to wash his hands! Strangely enough, apparently I used to be like that as well. And now I constantly have dirt under my nails and in the cracks of my feet! :)

the cup game

Oliver is driving me nuts recently, being super clingy, to the point that I can never set him down, unless it's for a meal or I sit down next to him. But sometimes, little things just put it all into perspective. Today he started playing a passing game - he passed me his cup, I'd pass it back, and so on. For a long time. And he just chuckled the whole time. And I'm 90% sure that he said "cup" a couple times. I guess those are the things you remember when you look on the time when your kids were small, instead of remembering days upon days of whining! I sure hope so anyway. :)

Walking!

So I set Oliver down on the floor while I was doing something today, and all of a sudden he started taking steps! It took me a few seconds to figure out what was happening, but he figured it out pretty quick - he was chuckling the whole time! I think he's going to be one happy kid once he gets the walking thing figured out.

Oliver's First Steps

I.am.robot.

We made a little robot the other day. I'll have to post a picture of the front sometime, he turned out quite cute. Unfortunately, Ethan didn't play with it much, even though he had movable arms. However, at one point he positioned it in front of the books and set up this book in front of it's face so it could read! Incidentally, this is the book my sister-in-law made for him, the one all about him. 

Maybe Ethan was trying to teach the robot all about him so that someday he could transfer his consciousness into the robot...whoa Christie, too much Big Bang Theory!

Time flies

Guess I haven't posted in, oh, 6 months or so! So much has changed, and so much has stayed the same. Oliver started crawling at 7 months, which didn't surprise us much since he was pushing himself around backwards at 3 months. He's a real go-getter. Sitting still is not for this boy! He's almost 9 months now, and he's practicing his solo standing. So far his record is 10 seconds. We get a laugh out of giving him something to hold, which he then stares at very intensely while not even realizing he's standing. Then he looks up and...TIMBER!

Ethan is going crazy with the talking now. In my opinion, he speaks quite clearly, and his vocabulary always surprises me. And the best part is that he's always saying silly things. The other day at supper we were just about to pray when he popped a piece of ravioli in his mouth. He spat it out and announced "Thank you God for HOT food?!!" We tried praying after that but couldn't get much out past the chuckles.

I'm just happy to be a mom these days. We've been tossing around the idea of looking for a bungalow in an older area with a gigantic yard, but I don't think it's going to be happening yet. I need to remember that God wants us to be content with what He's given us. So here's me being content. I love my silly, crazy, tantrum-y 3 year old. I love my smiley, man-on-the-move, currently-screaming-in-his-crib baby. I love my wise, doting, and (dare I say it?) silly-with-the-kids husband. I love my house, even with toys scattered everywhere. I love my little yard with it's 4 kinds of berry bushes. And I love God, who, in his great wisdom and infinite grace, has given me this life.

as thus it begins

It's amazing how impressionable Ethan already is! Last week my mother-in-law was giving him a bath, and suddenly I heard him say "oh my gone, oh my gone!" I assume he was repeating "oh my God" but just didn't know what he was saying. And then the other day he was riding on a broom, which he does sometimes when he pretends it's a horse, but this time he said "I'm a witch!" Whaaaa???!! I have no idea where he's picking these things up! Well, my neighbor says "oh my God" a lot, but dunno where the witch thing came from! I guess we're in for a lot more of these little surprises as the boys get older. Hopefully we'll have the wisdom to know what to do when these things sneak up on us!

Lazy Days

I was reminded today about how blessed I am. I was talking to an older mom (her kids are teenagers) and she was commenting on how she missed the days of staying home with her kids. Where the most pressing decision was what to have for lunch, and sometimes you could stay in your pjs all day. In the middle of the stressful times of being with two itty-bitty boys, I hope I can remember how much I am blessed to be able to stay home with them.

I am grateful for 5 loads of laundry, because it means I have more than enough clothes for my family.
I am grateful for 3 am feedings because I always get a smile when I change his diaper.
I am grateful for messy counters because it means I can feed my family.
I am grateful for dirty floors because it means I've been able to spend time playing instead of just cleaning. They also remind me that I have beautiful carpet and hardwood floors, not dirt or straw.
I'm thankful for tantrums because they mean I have a healthy, normal boy who's full of energy and his own opinions.

memory

Apparently I'm back with a vengeance! It's been so long since I've posted and now I just keeping thinking of new things I want to say. It helps that I'm not so exhausted anymore. Pregnancy, toddlers, and newborns can really take it out of you!

So Ethan keeps surprising me with his memory. We ask him every evening what kinds of things he did and it's always interesting to see what he remembers! The other day Jon was talking to him, and Ethan said "french fries". That was what we had for lunch - apparently the most exciting part of the day to this toddler is food!

Today we were at the mall for a bit, and we walked past a set of stairs. Ethan stopped to look at it, and then said "I want to go to [the] library!" Funny thing is, the library hasn't been there for almost a year! I was so surprised that he would remember that he used to go downstairs in the mall to get to the library. Wild.

We also like to test his recall with some books. There are a few books (Oliver Jeffers books in particular) that he can almost recite by this point. Today we were reading "The Paper Bag Princess" (except we call it "the dragon book", haha :), which I don't think we've "tested" him on before. Every time I stopped reading and looked at him, he gave me the next phrase!

One more story - yesterday we walked over to Sobeys, and at the till I realized that I'd left my wallet at home. So we had to make another round trip. This morning, just as we were leaving for the doctor's office, he says "oh no! Wallet Mommy!" Haha. Apparently my folly made a big impression on him. :) Reminds me of last May when I'd lost my keys and we were trying to get to swimming lessons. For days after that, he kept saying "Keys lost Mommy!"

This is probably a normal thing for toddlers, but I love being surprised by him every day!

And just for fun, here's a picture of him holding a bunny with Jon. :)

and the fun continues

Pretty sure I have mastitis. Oh well, I'll go to the doc tomorrow and get pumped full of antibiotics. Then I'll just hope I don't end up with thrush, haha. :)

beddy-bye

Hurrah, finally a regular bedtime for Oliver! About a month ago I started giving him a bath before I wanted him to go to sleep for the night, and finally in the last 3 days it seems to have clicked in. Around 6:30 I give him him a bath, during which he coos and squeals and smiles right at me the whole time. Then I give him a little massage and bring him upstairs to put his pjs on. As soon as I put him on the change table, he starts doing his "I'm tired" cry and doesn't stop until I start nursing him. Then he does his feeding and falls asleep! I put him in bed and voila, I have an evening again! Wow. He still usually wakes up for two or three feeds in the night, but he usually goes right back to sleep! And early mornings are a little bit of a bum because he often needs help to sleep past 6ish, but he's been doing that since day 1, so we're used to it! Someday he'll surprise us and sleep straight until 8 :)

Ankyloglossia

The term “ankyloglossia” comes from the Greek words agkilos for crooked or loop and glossa for tongue. Also known as a short frenulum, and also known as tongue-tie. It seems like such a minor thing, but our journey with tongue-tie has felt very major!

When Oliver was checked by the pediatrician in the hospital, all was apparently normal. Yet from the start I had incredible pain with breastfeeding, causing a lot of crying, toe-crinkling, anda significant amount of screaming. There was blood and permanent damp scabs (bearing in mind that babies nurse every couple hours and newborns take 45-60 minutes each time!), yet every breastfeeding pro I talked to said it must be a latch problem. This included a doula, a couple nurses, and a volunteer from the La Leche League. On Day 4, the community health nurse came to do a routine check, and the first thing she said was "oh, I see he's tongue-tied". That phrase went off like a buzzer in my head - I knew that tongue-tie could cause problems with breastfeeding, because the tongue can't get in the right position. So on day 8, Oliver went through a minor frenotomy - the lactation consultant snipped his frenulum by a couple millimeters - as far as she felt was blood-vessel free. There was a drop of blood and he immediately nursed a little bit better.

By this point I was using a nipple shield (a piece of silicone vaguely shaped like a nipple - it decreases the pain, and allowed my scabs to heal), and for a few days after the snip, I tried to get him weaned off of it. He would fuss and cry, and I would fuss and cry, and in the end we ended up continuing to use the shield. Showing the lactation consultant how much he fussed without it convinced her to set us up with an appointment with a pediatric plastic surgeon. But the appointment wasn't until Oliver was 6 weeks old! I know that 6 weeks is an extremely short period of time, but when you're in the middle of it with an extremely slow nurser and crappy sleeper, it seems like an eternity!

To top it off, when I went to the pediatrician, he gave me heck for getting the frenulum snipped, because apparently the Canadian Pediatric Society has just decided that tongue-tie doesn't affect breastfeeding! Yeah right. And to prove it, Oliver got his final snipping last Thursday. And now he nurses perfectly WITHOUT the shield. The poor guy had to deal with a mouthful of blood and the occasional re-opening of the wound, but overall, he did great, and we are MUCH happier now! Instead of taking 30-40 minutes, he takes less than 10 minutes to finish a feeding.

Remind me to tell my pediatrician that the Canadian Pediatric Society really needs to do some further research before telling mothers that tongue-tie isn't important, and especially that it doesn't affect breastfeeding! It makes me wonder how many women have given up on breastfeeding their baby because of undiagnosed tongue-tie.