to sleep, perchance to dream

sleep is weird. i spent all evening sleeping on the couch and now that it's time for bed, my brain is going a million miles an hour. eh.

what happened to my life?!

The human decision-making process is utterly amazing. In three weeks I went from not really knowing where to go with my life, to deciding that I'm really interested in international relief and development work, to deciding that my current degree doesn't cut the mustard, to deciding that I need more education, to deciding that I need to pay for that education, to deciding that maybe it would be a good idea to maybe go teach english overseas for a while...maybe...to deciding to uproot from my comfy little life and go live in South Korea for 12 months! ACK! And of course, Jon's decision-making process has looked virtually the same. And to top it all off, I'm going to the heart of Mexico on a missions trip with one of our pastors in a month. And I just decided THAT one last Thursday. Life looks a little different now than it did a month ago...at that point I was just trying to figure out why I couldn't handle my job anymore! And now THIS? I DON'T SPEAK KOREAN! I DON'T LOOK KOREAN! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT KOREAN FOOD LOOKS LIKE! My knowledge of Korea is limited to MASH re-runs, and that was American! If anyone has any tips on how NOT to go insane when your life is wildly spinning around, please do tell. On the other hand, being insane might be more comfortable. Bob the rock thinks that's a very good idea. Thanks Bob. At least I know that God isn't confined by international barriers. He's still on my side! Thanks God.

oops, guess i was wrong

i guess people really do read these things. hehe. don't worry about it guys, if i didn't want it read, i would have written in a locked up diary. i guess maybe they were a good idea after all! sorry blogspot, i won't steal your idea :)

Solid proof

Here's some solid proof that there are ghosts in my house...or that I don't actually have a body. Either way, it's kinda creepy!

...not that anyone's reading this

How can you put something on the internet - a place millions of people access everyday - and feel like no one reads your stuff? Hey, this is better than the lock and key diary technique! Maybe I should patent it. Sorry Blogspot, I'm going to beat you to it... :)

Bob the rock says hi

How do you tell someone you care about that they really bug the daylights out of you? Tactfully. Unfortunately, people tend to get offended when you tell that that they drive you bananas...and you aren't a monkey. Maybe I should get a pet rock. A pet rock is nice because it doesn't eat much and rarely runs away. Occasionally they need a bath but that's O.K. Bob the rock says hi. Bob eats very little. You just have to pet him a little to make him feel wanted. Bob the rock is a very loyal creature, except when there are girl-rocks around. Then he really starts to rock and roll.

don't even bother

What do you do? + why did you get a science degree? + are you ever going to get a science-related job? = why don't you get a REAL job?!

For the last time...I DON'T KNOW! And unless you have some real advice, don't bother. This is what would qualify as "real advice" - quit your job, move to Spain, and start up a ministry for street kids in Madrid. OR keep your job, learn to belly dance, and teach street kids in Madrid how to belly dance on your days off. OR go to bed, read a book on belly dancing, and dream about street kids in Madrid. Just tell me and I'll do it! just don't expect me to do this decision making stuff. It's out of my league.

edible styrofoam

Tony the Tiger was right! Frosted Flakes are edible styrofoam...albeit extremely tasty styrofoam. They truly are great! mmmm, sugar coursing through my viens at 11:30 pm. my body is crying it's regrets...and my tastebuds are crying their thanks. yum.

we all do it

Arrggh, when will people learn that their words HURT? And not just the person they're directed at, but anyone around them. Accusing someone of having "character flaws" doesn't just wipe out all self-esteem of the person you're talking to, but it totally hurts anyone who cares about him! Roar. People need to check their facts before telling people they ought to resign. And learn when to be constructive instead of ripping other people apart. But maybe it's not all their fault. Maybe there ARE character flaws. I guess we all have them. We just refuse to see them. I wonder what mine are? I guess when we discover them we just need to bring them to You, even though our hearts are cracked. Then we need to let you pour over us and bring our hearts back to life. Your healing rain.

missing you...again

The random train of thoughts from teaching piano has somehow led to you. Man, I wish you were still alive. I bet you would love teaching music. We could have had a real bang teaching kids to sing and play piano...hehehe, mouldable children in the palms of our hands...bwahahaha. I miss you. I wish we could have had more years together, even though I know I didn't appreciate you enough when you were alive. Funny thing is, I try to cry for you and I find that I have no more tears. And then I think of what you might be right now. After coming back from Capernwray, having been a part of something so amazing, maybe going to the u of a. I'm sure you would still be my amazing sister. I wish you could see your brother-in-law. He's great. I miss you and your "super-plum" hair. I think part of my personality died with you. Sigh. At least I know you're in a better place. See you sometime in the next 80 years!

money! aka job satisfaction

I just discovered that there's a huge amount of money to be made in the artsy education area. Take piano teachers for instance. If you only charge $10 for a half-hour lesson (which is dirt cheap apparently), you're making $20 an hour! And since teaching is actually pretty fun, why not? To get paid $10 to teach a kid something that you love, playing music games and duets...maybe it IS possible to find a job you can actually enjoy!

whoops

What do you do when you've stuck your foot in your mouth and hurt someone you care about? Ah, the question pretty much everyone has asked. "Do not let what is unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen." Too bad I don't know when to stop being melodramatic and start being wise.

I'm sorry for what I said about you
Will you accept my apology?
I am sorry
Hey, now what am I to do?
I'd better think twice before I make my move
'Cause last time I didn't think it through
Don't know where it's going to go
Don't know what we're going to do
And hey, now what am I to say?
My foolish words got in the way of us being friends
Wake up, make up, can we get along again?

I don't really want to fight over something that's really nothing?
It doesn't matter
I don't really want to scar your heart with words that hurt you
I won't hurt you

Did you feel all right
When you hung me out to dry?
Everybody knew
When you put it on the six o'clock story on the nightly news
Now it's time to think
Through this mess of words we made
Tongues are hard to tame
Powerful as politics, sharper than a razor blade

Did you really want to fight over something that's really nothing?
It doesn't matter
Did you really want to scar my heart with words that hurt me?
Don’t hurt me
I don't really want to cry over issues
Wet tissues stick to my shoes
We can't take back words we've spoken
But I'm hoping you'll forgive me
I don't care about what you said about me
Can we agree to disagree?
I am sorry

I'm hoping you'll forgive me
I'm hoping you'll forgive me

-"The Fight Song" by Sanctus Real