the colors of summer

busy beavers

So I spent an hour yesterday helping deconstruct a beaver dam. And before anyone calls the animal rights people on me, let me tell you that the most recent dam on my in-laws property has caused the nearby farmer's fields to flood, jeapardizing their livelihoods. Anyway, digging around in the sticks and mud was VERY gratifying to a city kid like me. Last week they had someone from the country come out to actually blow a hole in the middle of it with dynamite, and since then they had built it back up high enough to hold the water in again. So if anyone says they've been "as busy as a beaver", I might have reason to doubt. The beavers in that pond have a severe case of workaholism that would be next to impossible to mimic. Unless of course your house was going underwater...or in their case, coming out from underwater. :)

night fright

There was an inky darkness all around me, except for the exceptionally frequent flashes of lightning. The house was alive with the sounds of crashing rain and angry thunder. And I woke up in a strange place. On a couch. In a home that is not my own. I didn't know where Jon had gone, or even if he was still in the house. So I tried to make my way to the bedroom in the corner, hoping he would answer my whispering, plaintive cries. Where was the doorway? It seemed to have shifted in the night. I couldn't find it. The rain crashed harder on the steel roof. Then as the lightning lit up my surroundings again, I suddenly found myself facing a ghostly pale visage, staring at me with open mouth. I yelped fearfully as my heart found itself racing to get away from the strange apparition. But then I realized where I was. Just outside the door, staring in the mirror.

It took many minutes for my heart to slow back down to a healthy rate.

the making of a monster

Mr. and Mrs. Spongeinstein work feverishly, all day and throughout the night, to bring life to their monster.








Mr. Spongeinstein struggles to keep the monster's brain from overheating. He is, however, causing a bit of a dry skin problem.










At last, the monster is born! And his name? Spongeinstein...Spongebob for short. Mwahahahahhahahahahahaha

BEWARE THE SPONGE.

why i like moving

We're moving! There are many reasons to celebrate this momentous occassion. In contrast to popular theories, I actually ENJOY moving. Then again, I've never had to move a whole houseful of stuff. So here is why I like moving:

1. I get to rediscover old treasures...and promptly pack them back into a box to find the next time I move.
2. I finally get to get rid of my Bible college clothes...why did I wear that again?
3. I get to live in a messy house and not feel guilty about it.
4. All my breakable stuff is safely packed away where I can't break it.
5. I might finally get a new picture for my driver's license!
6. I get to laugh at the government all over again as it takes them another year and a half to figure out who I am and where I live...don't they communicate?
7. I get to redecorate.
8. Most of my 150 books are packed away so I can't start any more new ones before finishing the old ones. I think I've been working on one of them for almost a year. That's a new record for me.
9. I get to find fun stuff hiding in the couch and under the bed. Oh that's where I put that!
10. My new house will be perfectly clean...for about 10 minutes.

But I'm still sad to leave this place. Sniff sniff.

perfect solutions to your every problem

I think I'm a klutz. let's see...I fell off my bike before even getting on; I trip on every staircase I attempt to walk up; if it's spillable and I'm holding it, I'll drop it...but I discovered some excellent home remedies for a few of my more common problems. Let me share them with you.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat and presto. The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.
4. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

And finally, if I could give you one piece of advice that has done me well through all my years, it is this:

Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.

summary of hamlet

went to see hamlet tonight. here is my official synopsis.

1. king's brother kills king
2. king's spirit comes back to haunt his son
3. son pretends to be mad
4. son kills friend's dad
5. friend gets mad
6. friend's sister goes mad
7. friend's sister kills herself
8. king kills queen
9. son kills king
10. son kills friend
11. friend kills son

everyone is happy. and dead.

how uplifting.

grace

“But will God really dwell on earth with men?” – 2 Chronicles 6:18a (NIV)

When Solomon’s majestic temple was finally built, it seems as though he started to second-guess the validity of the concept of a “temple”. Indeed, it was supposed to be God’s dwelling place. But why would a God who cannot be contained by the highest heavens allow himself to be constrained by the limits of a temple? To call it his resting place?

Although it seems to be nothing short of a miracle that God would choose the temple as the place to put his Name, at least it was a place that, for most of its history, was a place devoted to God. The greater miracle is announced by Paul in 1 Corinthians 3:16. “Don't you know that you yourselves are God's temple and that God's Spirit lives in you?” Our hearts, with all their stray thoughts and dark corners, are God’s chosen place to dwell. What makes him choose to inhabit such an inhospitable place?

Solomon doesn’t answer this question in his prayer, nor is it logically answered anywhere in the Bible. In fact, it is one of the great mysteries that an infinite God should choose to inhabit the hearts of finite beings, dusty from their constant desire to roll in the dirt of life. The only plausible reason is that “the Lord is gracious and compassionate.” His compassion is overwhelming, and when we accept it, his grace pervades our being as he chooses to dwell in us.

I have heard people often complain about the lack of miracles in today’s world. But how amazing is it that God really does choose to dwell on earth with us? Because of his grace and compassion, Him who the highest heavens cannot contain chooses to dwell in you.

why we are descended from beetles

Did you know that all animals are descended from the same ancestor? It's true! We know this because we all have toenails. Think about it. Beetles have outerparts that are made out of toenails. Horses have feet made out of toenails. Cats have claws made out of toenails, and even I, a lowly human, have toenails...on my toes. And to think that some idiots think we all came from a monkey ancestor. Obviously, we all came from an ancestral toenail. A large, yellowing chitonous piece of tissue that was ever growing and ever needed trimming, which it accomplished by scraping its lower parts along the rocky floor of the earth. Science has also determined that it probably also had an iffy smell exuding from its underparts, which served to attract toenails of the less yellowing and thick variety so as to propogate the species.

Genius. Pure genius. We are ever indebted to the toenail. And the beetle.

All power to the beetle.

You Are a Chocolate Chip Cookie

Traditional and conservative, most people find you comforting. You're friendly and easy to get to know. This makes you very popular - without even trying!

What Kind of Cookie Are You?

I never really thought of myself as traditional and conservative, but if it gives me free license to eat muchos cookies, to heck with it. Skirts, long hair, and Bush it is! (sorry Monst. R, you've been replaced)

too late

I think I finally hit high school...about 6 years after the fact. Is it weird that I suddenly have this strong desire to get my nose pierced? Not sure if it's a good idea though - I have my ears pierced and they always get infected even with "special" earings. Also not sure if the church would approve...which ordinarily wouldn't bother me except that they give me my paycheck...

a little heretical

I'm pleased to introduce you to Monst R. Cookie, the bane of my existence. Although I have to admit the vitamin quantity in M&Ms just may surprise you, the truth is that the M&M company has it out for me. They want my sole business. No carrots allowed. What would I do without Monst R. Cookie? I would probably pine away, wasting every day in agony for want of my addictive lover. The M&M company has special access to my brain via the waves that exude from my cookie-fed mind, and thus realizes that without Monst R. Cookie, I am nothing.

If I eat with the tongues of men and angels, but have not Monst R. Cookie, it is only an empty crunch or a painful mouthful. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains of cookies, but have not Monst R., I am nothing. If I give all the cookies I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the heat of the oven, but have not Monst R., I gain nothing.

Monst R. is patient, and kind. He does not envy when I turn to other cookies, he does not boast of his delightful taste, and he is not proud. He is not rude, he is not self-seeking (after all, he does prefer to be destroyed by my hungry, cavernous mouth), he is not easily angered, he keeps no record of wrongs. My Monst R. Cookie does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. He always protects the sweetness, always trusts that I'll be hungry, always hopes that the oven is on, and always perseveres (especially when I'm on a diet).

And now these three remain: cake, tarts, and Monst R. Cookie. But the greatest of these is my Monst R.

in answer to your question...

I actually never realized there WAS a difference until I went to the conference!

When you sponsor a child through Compassion, the money goes toward directly benefitting your child - it goes toward funding the child development centre that each sponsored child attends every day after school. Each centre is run by a local church. There they get tutoring, training in skills (like sewing, carpentry...), medical attention, food (if they need it), spiritual training, and above all, a safe place to be! In some other child sponsorship programs (like World Vision), most of your money goes toward community development projects like drilling wells and building schools. That definitely can have a positive impact on the kids, but there's no guarantee that that project will benefit your sponsor child! So it's a great program, but "child sponsorship" is a bit of a misnomer. And just in case you're wondering, Compassion does have community development programs too, they just come out of another fund. Basically, "Compassion's focus is children, so we use child sponsorship funds directly for the growth and development of children and guarantee that every child will hear the Gospel." (I ripped that off the website :) Does that answer your question?

We have sponsor kids through both programs, so I'm not against World Vision, I just think that more of my "child sponsorship" dollars are making it to my child through Compassion.

oh, one more thing. Compassion focuses more on the Christian sector as sponsors because they want each sponsor to be a missionary to their child - to pray for the kid, write letters, and encourage. World Vision has a broader focus, which is cool too because it accomplishes other purposes. I'm just biased :)

compassion

The more I learn about Compassion Canada, the more I love the organization! If you've ever been thinking about sponsoring a child, Compassion Canada is definitely better than World Vision (oops, did I just write that out loud?). In my humble opinion. I was at a Compassion conference this weekend and learned...everything! So go ahead...ask me a question...I dare you...

boo. Did you know that Elvis really IS dead? Boy, that shatters a lot of dreams. I guess I'll have to move in at heartbreak hotel.